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My dad is mad at me because he was upstairs getting ready for bed and heard what sounded like fireworks it was actually the sound of my butthole out explosive diarrhea all over the kitchen floor my dad then had to take a butter knife wrapped in a Clorox

Wipe and clean my out of every crack in the wood floors in the kitchen and he almost threw up 20 times because it smelled like the rotting corpses of a thousand ancient mummies

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  1. My cat found some uncooked rice in the pantry and decided to eat quite a lot. Turns out cats can’t digest uncooked rice. Every time he trumped the rice would spray out of his arse hole and scatter all over the wooden floor. It went on for hours. It’s over 15 yrs ago & I’ll never forget that sound or the hysterical confusion it caused. It was like confetti produced in hell.

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